Relationships - The Expecting Father

Disclaimer: I wrote a series of articles for an online magazine called Cheers between 2004-2006, am putting them out here since I found them in Lockdown 2.0

Relationships - The Expecting Father

‎21 ‎February ‎2006, ‏‎01:31:24

With the coming of new life into a family there are many implications in a mans life too.  Not only the impact of the big responsibility coming his way its also a expression which lacks words.  Not because I am one of the expecting father but also of what I spoke with other wannabe and already fathers.  The importance of a pregnancy goes well towards the mother since she needs lots of attention.  But the fathers are normally sidelined specially in a country like India with the onslaught of functions, which follow from the time of confirmation of pregnancy.

The expecting father has to go through the phase of recreating him self, starting from his childhood to his parent days.  Well there are millions of books and web pages about parenting but nothing as good as information which prepares mothers to motherhood.  Well and people still talk about equal rights!

Jokes apart, most of the expectant mothers I have come across read books similar to Dr. Spocks, which again is catering to mothers than fathers.  I tried looking for some serious stuff written for fathers but I failed miserably.  Well when I became a parent the only consolation was the conversation I over heard between my wife and her gynecologist.  The lady doctor was telling my wife that "we give birth to the baby after 9 months of uncertainty and pain and they look like their fathers".  It was true in my case at least.

During the early days of the pregnancy the women change a lot.  Out of all other fathers with whom I spoke the unanimous understanding is that (as usual), hard work and laborious work to be carried out by the fathers.  With their maternity leave fathers would do all the things mothers do at home.  Like picking up remote control for TV, Getting your own drink from the refrigerator and additionally do these jobs for the wife too.

The commonly accepted fact that in India where families are male dominated where the fathers relax and mothers do all the work what ever phase of their life is changing.  The feminist organizations have educated the masses and the women folk have changed.  Not just in cities but in rural areas as well.  It now has become a mutual responsibility.  Most of fathers like me are waking up to the fact that you have to change diapers every night and carry the baby on your shoulder and put her to sleep.